Discovering True Intimacy with Our Savior

Music Monday: My Jesus

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I had the sweetest time with Jesus last week. He showed me just how far He has brought me over the last two years, and I stood amazed at how beautiful, gentle and patient He really is with me. It makes me wonder why I resist Him; doubt Him; or question His goodness? I cannot capture into words the love that I have for Him but this song by Leeland does a pretty decent job.

My Jesus

Here on the bank I stand.
But in the water is the hope of man.
Unclean, I fall before You now.
Jesus, come wash me inside out.

I’m running to the water now.
I’m running to the water now.

And I’m lost in Your love and Your mercy.
Lord, Your beauty is so overwhelming.
I’m thankful for Your truth.
I’m so in love with You.
My Jesus, My Jesus.

Here on the bank I stand.
But in the water is the hope of man.
Unclean, I fall before You now.
Jesus, come wash me inside out.

I’m running to the water now, oh
I’m running to the water now.

And I’m lost in Your love and Your mercy.
Lord, Your beauty is so overwhelming.
I’m thankful for Your truth.
I’m so in love with You.
My Jesus, My Jesus.

All things are new again.
Covered in waters of love I stand.
All my chains are broken.

All things are new again.
Covered in waters of love I stand.
All my chains are broken.
‘Cause I’m washed inside Your ocean.

I’m running to the water now.
I’m running to the water now.

And I’m lost in Your love and Your mercy.
Lord, Your beauty is so overwhelming.
I’m thankful for Your truth.
I’m so in love with You.
My Jesus, My Jesus.

And I’m lost in Your love and Your mercy.
Lord, Your beauty is so overwhelming.
I’m thankful for Your truth.
I’m so in love with You.
My Jesus, Oh, My Jesus.

You make all things new.
You’re so good to me Lord
So thankful Lord, so thankful Lord.
I’m new creation, You make all things new oh Lord.
You are my salvation.
You are just so beautiful.
I’m a new creation, You make all things new. Oh, Lord.

We love You.
We love You.
So in love with You…

Bigger Plans

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When Kels, Lil, Robyn and I sat down to figure out where we were going on our mission trip, there were a couple of “nice to haves.”  My nice-to-have was an English speaking, McDonald’s eating country, but that wasn’t going to happen.  Peru seemed to be calling and it seemed to be calling in mid-July based on everyone’s schedules.

Kels and Lil are veterans to foreign missions and they are good at flying by the seat of their pants, but Robyn and I are the newbies who share a deep appreciation for organization, efficiency and planning.

We scrolled through hundreds of trips on the e3 website, but the one that caught our attention was out of Colorado.  We signed up assuming that we would meet the Colorado team at an airport in the states before flying to Peru.  God had bigger plans.

I’m pretty sure that as soon as you hit the “Apply” button on the e3 website alarms go off across the nation because within 24 hours we each had received phone calls and emails from various e3 associates.   It was amazing.

Through these phone calls, we found out that there were other people from Birmingham who had signed up for the same trip.  I thought the odds of this were unlikely and gave God props for throwing us a bone of encouragement.  But He had bigger plans.

Turns out that the “other people” from the ‘Ham were really more like an army of 30!  Not only that, but the majority of them go to a fairly large church in the area and have been on this same trip a half-dozen times!  Add to it that the team leader is a cardiologist at UAB who is uber-organized, efficient and is serious about some planning, and you have a BIG BLESSING from God!

I have sat back in amazement at God’s provision.

Dr. Bill has shared photographs of the ministry sites, hotels, Peruvian contacts, the airport, airplanes, restaurants, and even the internet resources we will have available to us.

He has even given us lists of vaccinations and items to pack – complete with a demonstration of the type of the converter/adapter we will need so our hairdryers and computers will work.

He has coordinated free ground transportation to and from the Atlanta airport and even had time to schedule a site seeing tour for those wanting to stay a few extra days.

This dude makes me want to hug Jesus!

Y’all, God’s plans are always bigger than what we can dream.  If you want to see just how big He is, take a step of faith.  He will bless you with abundantly more than you can ask or imagine.

Petrified

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I’m not sure if I have mentioned this on the blog or not, but I am going on a mission trip to Arequipa, Peru on July 16th. I have never been out of the country nor have I been on a mission trip like this before. And to be honest, I am petrified!

When we signed up for the trip several months ago, one of the girls in the group was nervous.  Oddly, I was the calm one.  Then, it occurred to me that eventually the roles would be reversed.  Well, Friends, we have reached that junction.  She is calm; I am terrified.

I’m scared for a lot of reasons.  First, the bathroom situation.  My stomach is quite ridiculous in it’s irritability, so I worry about facilities being nearby.  Not only that, but I worry about what those facilities will look like.  Now, let me be clear here:  I am not a germ-a-phobe.  I do not expect clean facilities.  But I do hope for a toilet bowl and not a hole in the floor.  Grace is not my middle name which I’m sure will lead to an interesting experience.  Not to mention my poor thighs.  I’m not sure they are up to the task.  Perhaps I should add some squats and lunges to my workout routine just in case.

The second thing I worry about is what I will eat.  Y’all know I’m a picky eater, but then you add the risk of bacterial infections and parasites, and well…what’s a girl to do?  Cheese and peanut butter crackers & cereal bars will most likely be on the menu; or perhaps I’ll end up with a 10-day fast for the Lord.  Let’s face it, I can miss a few meals for Jesus.

So, these are my honest and ridiculous fears of traveling abroad.  Don’t you wonder if God just rolls his eyes at us sometimes and whispers, “You of little faith!  Why do you doubt? (Matthew 14:31)”

Music Monday: Stolen

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God is many things to me.  I know Him as Father, Counselor, and Friend, but the book of Hosea challenged me to see Him as Husband.  I struggled with this concept for one obvious reason:  I’m not married.

The story of Hosea goes something like this:  God tells him to marry a prostitute.  Now, speaking from a singleton’s standpoint, I’d have to say I’d be pretty disappointed if the husband God chose for me was a prostitute.  Not exactly what I have in mind for myself.  But God uses Hosea’s marriage to Gomer (unfortunate name, don’t you think?) to illustrate the unfaithfulness of His people and His undeserved, lavish love for His people.

But there is another thing that surprised me in this book:  God’s relentless pursuit of us despite our unfaithfulness.  We run from Him time and time again, but he pursues us patiently, purposefully, powerfully.

This story reminded me Brandon Heath’s song, “Stolen.”

Stolen
(Brandon Heath, Nate Campany, Dan Muckala)

I’m a fugitive
Running from the life that I was meant to live
Looking for somewhere that I can lay my head
I’m lucky if I make it through the night
But I can’t sleep
Knowing that You’re one more step ahead of me
I’m a fool for ever thinking You’d just let me go
That’s not the way it’s ever gone before
I’m Yours

You catch me like a thief in the night
You hold me when I put up a fight
You chase me when I run from Your light
Because You love, You won’t give up
‘Til my heart is stolen
‘Til my heart is stolen away

I’m trying to understand that life comes after dying
To embrace that I’m a slave until I’m captured
But You would never use a lock or a key
‘Cause I am free

You catch me like a thief in the night
You hold me when I put up a fight
You chase me when I run from Your light
Because You love, You won’t give up
‘Til my heart is stolen
‘Til my heart is stolen away

I could change my name, cover all my tracks
But I’m wrong to think I could lose the past
‘Cause You found me here and You took me back
Once a criminal, now a prodigal

© 2011 Sony/ATV Cross Keys Publishing / Big Skwawka Music (ASCAP) All rights on behalf of Sony/ATV Cross Keys Publishing and Big Skwawka Music admin. by Sony/ATV. / Dear Cleveland Publishing / Warner-Tamerlane Publishing Corp. (BMI) / Wintergone Music (ASCAP) (admin. worldwide by Kobalt Music Publishing, LTD.)

Baked Bread

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Have you ever had one of those days where you were weary and worn out?  Where all you wanted to do was crawl into your bed and forget about the world around you even if it was only for a moment?

Have you ever felt a longing or an ache in your heart where prayers seemed inadequate and perhaps even trite?  Where frustration and fear seemed to sap your strength?  Where neither words nor tears would mercifully come?

Allow me to introduce you to someone who knows how you feel.  Elijah was a prophetical powerhouse;  a miracle machine; an agent of the Almighty.  Yet in the pages of 1 Kings 19, we see his humanity and his frailty.  And while I can’t relate to conjuring up fire from heaven, I can certainly relate to him here.

He is running for his life and he is afraid.  So afraid, in fact, that he plops down under a broom tree and cries out to God, “I have had enough, LORD” (1 Kings 19:4)!

Can you hear the desperation in his voice?  the discouragement?  the despair?
Can you hear the resignation?  the weariness?  the fear?

Hopeless and frightened; frail and fatigued, Elijah falls asleep under that broom tree, and is awoken by an angel of the LORD.  The angel has prepared a meal for him – a meal of baked bread and water.

The Hebrew word used for angel is malak, which means “messenger” but when added to the “of the LORD” it becomes something even more remarkable.  Commentaries suggest that this is Jesus, and I believe it to be true.  Throughout the Old Testament, you see this angel of the LORD speaking as if he were God.

So, stay with me here.  Jesus, the Son of God, makes a fleeting appearance in the flesh in Elijah’s weakest and most hopeless moment.

Jesus shows up when his servant has had enough of this wicked and worrisome world.
Jesus starts a fire and bakes some bread.
Jesus gathers some water and places it in a jar
And then, Jesus wakes him up to eat.

He ministers to him practically and physically.
Not once, but twice.

How appropriate for the Fountain of Living Water (John 7:38) and the Bread of Life (John 6:25) to provide such a meal!  How tender and trustworthy is He!  He restore our souls and cares for us in times of our greatest need and hopelessness for He, and He alone, is our hope and salvation.

Shame On Me

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Confession: I have been avoiding some of my friends. I know that sounds harsh…and wrong…and completely inexcusable…but it is true nonetheless.

You see, once upon a time, I used to do triathlons. While ‘speedy’ was never a word used to describe me in my triathlon years (unless it was preceded by the word ‘not’), I was fairly fit if I do say so myself.

I was skinny and tan.
I was comfortable in spandex, lycra, dry-weave tanks and swimsuits.
I could ride a bike over 50 miles fairly easily, swim well over a mile and not even blink at a 6 mile run.
And I made some pretty awesome friends along the way.

We traveled together,
cried together,
pushed each other,
and cheered each other to the finish line.
We argued,
and we laughed,
we shared our secrets during the hours and hours of bike rides and runs. We overcame fears and failures,
nursed each other back to health after inevitable injuries
and hung out together on the sidelines.

I started to feel God tugging at my well-defined arms back in 2008 but I chalked it up to just being burned out on training. It wasn’t until the summer of 2009 that I finally submitted to Him during a very, very, very, very, very long and excruciating half-marathon in Chicago. It was there, on the beautiful banks of Lake Michigan, that He finally wore me down and got my attention. I knew I had to stop.

So, life as I knew it changed. I had long since hung up my bike and put away my swimsuit, but now, I saw the writing on the wall – it was time to unlace the running shoes and get back to God.

I retired myself from all things exercise. At first, it was hard, but then I started to hear God speak and move in my life in ways I had only heard people talk about. I started to love God more than I ever thought possible. I started to feel His presence in my life. I actually loved to study the Bible and I started seeking His Heart in ways I cannot explain.

And slowly, day by day, my heart became full and apparently…so did my belly.

Along with these awesome spiritual changes, I was faced with some not so glamorous physical changes. I could no longer eat what I wanted and not gain weight, but that didn’t stop me. Now, I am carrying around more pounds than I care to acknowledge, and with that has come the burden of shame.

Shame is something that we don’t like to talk about, because…well…it’s shameful. But it’s an arrow Satan keeps in his quiver ready to fire at me in a moments notice. The target of shame is always our weakness, and he has been using that for the past two years to keep me away from my friends.

I’m ashamed that I can’t run and swim and bike like I used to.
I’m ashamed that I’ve gained more weight that I care to count.
I’m ashamed of what I look like.

So, I’ve been avoiding my triathlon friends. I’ve let Satan shame me into not calling or seeing them. Now that I know what he’s up to, I might just have to pick up a phone and call one of those friends because I refuse to let him win. I refuse. He has no power over me.

And when I call those friends, I’m sure I’ll find out that Satan is, in fact, a liar and that those friends I’ve been avoiding will love me whether my legs are tan or white and reflective. I’m sure they’ll love me skinny or a little fluffy because, well, they are my friends. And that’s what friends do. They love us no matter what.