Discovering True Intimacy with Our Savior

Fine Lines

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I noticed something pretty remarkable about age recently, and fortunately, it was something other than the fine lines an invisible artist has begun to paint around the corners of my eyes.

What I noticed was a shift in perspective in what constitutes a problem.

Now, before I continue, let me say that I realize this isn’t rocket science. I am certainly not the first person to observe this phenomenon. But go with me back in time for a second, and let’s look at what used to qualify as a problem in your world.

  • Someone removing your pacifier left you wailing and sobbing.
  • Not getting candy at the grocery store justified flailing on the ground and squealing at the top of your lungs.
  • Breaking up with your first love, not fitting in, or having a zit on school picture day was a fate worse than death.
  • The thought of not being accepted into the right college broke you out in hives as you contemplated the disaster your life would inevitability become.

Sadly, I wish I could say that over exaggerating life’s hiccups end when we cross over into our twenties, or even into our thirties, but sadly it does not – at least for me. I definitely have areas of concern that can (and often do) send me into the outer limits of anxiety, fear or despair.

But when I look back at the struggles of my youth, I cannot help but chuckle at the absurdity of the problems, and yet, I remember them feeling so real…so important…so monumental. And it’s left me wondering…

If God’s ways are not my ways, and God’s thoughts are not my thoughts (Isaiah 55:8) are my problems even problems at all?

Does God have the same type of perspective on my “adult” problem that I do on the little girl sniffling because her best friend hurt her feelings?

I’m also wondering what problem are you facing today. As a child of God, you have access to Almighty God (Eph. 2:18). Nothing is too hard for Him (Jer. 32:17)! Go boldly into His Presence (Heb. 4:16) asking Him – not only for his resources – but for His perspective as well.

 

New Beginnings

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I find my arms are open a bit wider this year as I welcome the arrival of Holy Week and the coming of Easter.   My soul is thirsty for the refreshment this week often brings. 

Tonight, I’ll remember the last supper by going to a Maundy Thursday service followed by a small dinner with my friends.  I will enjoy their fellowship, share some inevitable laughs, and celebrate new beginnings with them. 

And in the process, I’ll remember Jesus sitting at a table with His fellowship of brothers telling them of the new beginning that lay ahead.  And I will rejoice that one of those brothers would betray Him and another would deny Him. 

I will rejoice because I have been them. 

And so have you. 

And yet, there is redemption.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  -Romans 5:8

Music Monday: Blessings

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“Me and 2012 are gonna fight” was my Facebook status in early January.  So, I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that the first quarter of 2012 has been a rough one.  Even my friends find themselves in the midst of some struggles and irritations.

I hate to wish the year away, but I find myself doing it almost on a daily basis.  Case in point:  I thought it would be fun to have an Adios 1st Quarter 2012 party.

My friends did too.

But regardless of how much I want to fight with 2012, the fact of the matter is that God has blessings in store for me through the fits and frustrations.  And that fact is what brings me to our Music Monday for today.

Blessings

By Laura Story

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while You hear each spoken need
Yet Love us way too much to give us lesser things
‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
And what if trails of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It’s not our home
‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can’t satisfy?

And what if the trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?

To Your Left

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I was lying in the hospital bed during the wee hours of the morning in a morphine induced haze. The TV filled the room with a surreal, pale-blue hue which flickered as the picture changed.

After spending 6 hours in the ER, I was grateful for my new – and much more comfortable – bed, but my lower back ached. I wanted desperately to sleep on my side. However, turning to the left would tug at the IV line, and turning to the right caused the IV machine to protest with a series of beeps. So, I ended up in some crazy half-flat, half-right tilt. It was no wonder I couldn’t sleep!

I felt my lower back relax a bit as I listened to the oddly soothing sounds of the IV machine.

“I am here with you,” said a voice deep in my soul.
“Where?” I whispered.
“To your left,” I heard Him say.

I slowly turned my head and shifted my gaze to the left hoping to see the image of my Savior beside me, but my eyes only found a large window with the blinds tightly drawn. I sighed and drifted off to sleep.

My mom stirred as the sunlight filtered in through the shades. I opened my eyes to see her standing by the window with a cup of coffee cradled in her hand.

She reached out and opened the blinds that had blocked my vision the night before. And to my surprise, there – just outside the window on my left – was a cross.

“I am here with you” came the words.
“Where?” I whispered.
“To your left,” I heard Him say.

And indeed, He was.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10

Hi

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Wow! So, I’ve been out awhile.

And…well…this is awkward.

Please forgive me for my absence. I have a really, really good excuse.

I wish I could say that I’ve been busy hammering out a new bible study or something that might be equally impressive. However, I have been at home recuperating from some unexpected surgery.

Things are all good now. The recovery process just took painfully longer than I expected. To be honest, the whole experience has been rather traumatizing on many levels and has left me somewhat speechless. (Who ever thought I’d say those words? Not me.)

While I’ve had a couple of crushing disappointments and some frightening realizations over the past three weeks, I have also experienced tremendous blessings that shined light on how awesome God is and how He takes care of us: moment by moment; step by step.

I won’t go into all those things now, but I do hope that as I process them, you will allow me to share some with you. For now, I simply wanted to reach out, say “HI” and remind you that God loves you and takes care of you in ways you never know or can comprehend.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. (Matthew 6:31-32)

Blue

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My adult life has been peppered with bouts of anxiety and depression. (That’s such a nice, cheery way to start a post. Don’t you think?) In the past, I have been able to contribute it to a specific circumstance in my life. But lately, I’ve been blue, and I haven’t a clue as to why.

Not only have I been blue, but I’ve been incredibly anxious. I wake up almost every single morning nauseas and dreadful of what the day might bring. Nothing seems to satisfy me or ease my discontent. I have no energy. No appetite. I have waves of anxiety for no reason at all. It’s baffling, uncomfortable and almost paralyzing. I just want to feel normal again.

Or at least that is what I thought I wanted.

Now…I’m not quite so sure.

You see, I’ve been fascinated with the Holy Spirit, lately. I’ve been praying for God to fill me up with His Spirit, to teach me about who He is, and how He works. We know so little about Him, and yet He is predominately how the God-head interacts with us today. Does that seem ironic to anyone but me?

In my search to know the seemingly enigmatic Holy Spirit, I stumbled across a collection of sermons by A.W. Tozer aptly titled Mystery of the Holy Spirit and this sentence caught my attention:

“I am not sure anyone was ever filled with the Spirit without first having a time of disturbance and anxiety.”

Come again, A.W. What was that?

“…before [the Holy Spirit] can fill us, there must be a disturbance and an anxiety. Adam has to die.”

Think about this with me for a second.

Let’s say you have a box full of junk, but you want to make it a box full of treasures. In order to make it a box full of treasures, you have to empty the box of the junk. Right? You have to pour out the contents of the box in order to fill it with the things that are valuable.

It is the same with the Holy Spirit!

We cannot be filled by the Holy Spirit until we are empty of our self and of the things of this world: the junk.

Wait! There is more.

When God turns our boxes upside down to empty us out, our internal self screams in discomfort creating feelings of anxiety and distress. Y’all! This could change my life!

Eventually, the box has to run out of junk, right? Eventually, those feelings of anxiety and despair will disappear when the box is turned right side up. And then look what happens! We get filled with the treasure of the Holy Spirit!

“But when you reach that place of despair, when nobody can help you; when you’ve gone to the last person, you’ve written the last editor, and followed the last evangelist around, and hunted up the last fellow to counsel with him, and when nobody can help you any more you’re in a state of inward despair; that’s when you should never despair, because you’re near the kingdom. That is getting close, getting near the place where God can do something for you.”

Do you see it? Oh, please tell me that you see it!

We try so hard in our society to be comfortable, to not feel pain, to not hurt or be anxious. We seek counsel in anything – and from anyone – but God.

We talk to friends,
surf the internet,
distract ourselves with more and more activities.

We pop pills,
or drink another glass of wine,
or work longer hours.

We numb ourselves with the television,
or quit our jobs,
or move on to another relationship.

But what would happen if we welcomed the pain? What would happen if we embraced the opportunity to be emptied of the junk so that God could fill us with His Treasure?