Hello friends! It is so good to be back! I have missed this place – and YOU! I thought about you almost every single day.

For those of you wondering, the conference was a success by mine and Jamie’s standards. No one took a tumble down the stairs. There were no wardrobe malfunctions. No one threw her bible on the ground and went stomping out of the room.

It was good.

And I am blessed and humbled not only by the sweet comments we received but that God would choose to use me at all.

Last week, however, was a bit more of a roller coaster than I expected as I shifted gears to go back to work. Remember those cartoon characters who would run full force into a cement wall and then slowly slide flat-faced to the ground? That was me last week! But all is well. God gave me a few surprises to keep me motivated.

Speaking of surprises, let’s get to the point of the post.

Yesterday, I went to buy Ellie (my adorable, sweet and TEETHING labrador retriever) some chew toys at the local pet store. I chatted for a few minutes with the lady behind the counter as she rang up my items.

It was a normal transaction by every definition of the word. I slid my debit card through the thingy, entered my PIN, and waited to be “approved” by my bank. (By the way, does anyone else want to scream “I’m approved! I’m approved! I’m approved!” every time you go through a checkout lane? Nah, it’s probably just me.)

Anyway, while I was waiting to be “approved,” I looked up, smiled at the lady and then things started to get weird. Out of NOWHERE, y’all, this large rat came crawling out from under her hair and onto her shoulder!!! Ummmm. Ewww!

Realizing that I was in a pet store, I decided to play it cool and said, “Oh, you have a cute hamster on your collar. I wasn’t expecting that, but it’s cool” or something equally as lame and headed out the door.

My spiritual lesson for today? Expect the unexpected. God loves to surprise us.

He surprised…
Abraham and Sarah with a baby;
Moses with a burning bush;
Jacob and Daniel with angels;
Elijah with bread and water;
and the disciples with an empty tomb.

And he can certainly surprise you.

As some of you are aware, Jamie and I just wrapped up writing and teaching the women’s conference at our church and to be honest, I am just flat out of writing material. Turns out – this is gonna be a great blessing to you because Robyn had a fabulous post that I want to share.  So, without further adieux, let’s have a round of applause for Robyn’s sheet cake offering.  Enjoy!

OK.  So, that title might be a bit of a stretch (get it? I crack myself up).  2011 was, indeed, the year of exercise for me but not in the sense it has been previously.  2011 was the year of exercising…my faith.  And boy did I feel the burn.

Inspired my Robyn’s reflections of the year (which, by the way, I look forward to with ridiculous enthusiasm), I thought I’d share my own.

Most Memorable Moment
Standing in a pile of rubble after a significant hike through a ravine to lead my first person to Christ.  Totally worth it!

Favorite Moment
Holding hands and praying in the middle of a dusty, dirt road with a complete stranger who is now my brother in Christ.

Most Awkward Moment
Holding a plastic 13 gallon trash bag that was as white as my face as I nauseously paced at the Lima airport before boarding the plane for Arequipa.

Worst Moment
Watching my friend hold a tee-tiny Delta barf bag for 8 hours on the way home from Peru, and then feeling terrible that she actually had to use it the second we pulled into the church parking lot.

Best Purchase
An adorable, white labrador puppy who is as beautiful and sweet as she was in my dreams.

Favorite Gift

A Spanish Bible with a hand-written note inside given to me by a 10 year old Peruvian girl.

Most Embarrassing Moment
Being the only woman in the room who admitted to having a tattoo while playing “Do You Love Your Neighbor” at the Valleydale Women’s Conference. So glad this was caught on film.

Most Disgusting Moment
With two miles to go in a four mile race, watching thousands of people stuff handfuls of soggy donuts into their mouths at the Krispy Kreme Challenge. NOTE: No donuts were consumed by me or Robyn, and we have never looked at a Krispy Kreme donut the same again.  It was THAT disgusting.

Most Hilarious Moment
I’m going to have to agree to Robyn on this one: having a huge, middle of the night, delirious, ugly-girl laugh (complete with snorting) in wondering if the Delta blankets on our return flight from Peru were made from baby alpaca.

Favorite Football Moment
Watching my Auburn Tigers win their first national championship after 57 years.

Verse of the Year
Zephaniah 3:17

Greatest Accomplishment
Finishing Daily Resolve 2011

Biggest Endeavor
Writing the women’s retreat material with Jamie Harper which is still to be completed.

Favorite Line from My Prayer Journal
“Can you shut that bird up that is outside my window? It is driving me crazy. At the very least can you give it a different tune?”  (He did, by the way.)

Best Trip
My one-on-one retreat with God to my favorite place on earth: El-Bethel. It’s actually a condo that a friend’s parents own, but it is a very special place where I go to meet with God.

OK. I think that’s enough reminscing seeing that I have a writing deadline tomorrow.

Happy New Year, Y’all!

I asked God this morning what He wanted me to know today. His answer came quickly – without hesitation or delay.

“I am in control.”

Not me.
Not my boss.
Not the President of the United States.

God is in control.

Maybe, like me, you need to be reminded of this truth.

The burden – whatever it is – is not your’s to bear. It is God’s and God’s alone.

It is not your responsibility to accomplish – it is His.

Your responsibility is to know Him for to know Him is to trust Him. His intentions are good and noble and trustworthy towards us. Ask Him to show you and He will. And in the meantime…may you REST in knowing that He is in control. Always and forever. Amen.

A while back, God started to reveal to me a plan he had for my life. So, I’ve been waiting…and waiting…and waiting some more…for Him to set things in motion for that new season to begin. It’s difficult. It stretches my faith. But yet it is so much fun to see Him work.

I realized yesterday that I do not have a Plan B should things not happen as God has promised. My mind started to get away from me, and to be honest, a little panic started to set it. What am I going to do if XYZ doesn’t happen? I don’t have a plan B.

Now for some not prone to plan, this might not phase you, but for a project manager who is constantly asking the question, “What is our contingency plan? What if this doesn’t work?” it is difficult.

So, like any good project manager, I immediately started to come up with a Plan B. “What are my options?” I asked myself. Never, not once, did I take this question to God.

This morning, I overslept. Since my coffee time with Christ was limited, I started reading some random devotions that I keep on my phone for emergency purposes. To be honest, I cannot remember the last time I opened one. Here is what I discovered:

“I kept hearing in my spirit, “Steady as she goes.” It is a navigational phrase that means the same thing as “stay the course”. Don’t change anything; keep doing what you’ve been doing. And, I heard the Lord say: In your recent course corrections refuse to get discouraged when you don’t see immediate advantage. You are on the right track. Just keep moving and obeying My voice and My leading. You will see that divine purpose is being accomplished.

While I found this interesting, I didn’t know exactly what God wanted me to do with it. Until I read another devotion. This one written by Beth Moore (which I haven’t picked that up in months and months, mind you). This is what Mrs. Beth had to share:

“…The Greek term for “keep watch” is prosecho. “As a nautical term it means to hold a ship in a direction, to sail towards…to hold on ones course toward a place.”

Immediately, my response to God was, “What is up with the nautical terms this morning?” And then it occurred to me.

Despite the fact that I never took my Plan B question to God, He answered it.

I am on the right track.
I need to stay the course.
There isn’t a Plan B.

You see, when we have a plan B, we are doubting God’s ability to accomplish His plan for our lives, and that denotes doubt. Doubt, as we have learned in the past, is the antonym of belief. The nemesis of faith. Scripture tells us that “without faith it is impossible to please God”
(Hebrews 11:6).

So, despite the discomfort and the waiting, I will choose to stay the course. I will not have a Plan B “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in [me] will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ”
(Philippians 1:6).

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful”
(Hebrews 10:23).

I picked up the phone and dialed the number by memory. It had been a while since I dialed any number by memory, let alone this one, but as I stared at the keypad, my fingers dialed it effortlessly.

I cannot tell you how many times I have typed those seven digits over the course of almost thirty years.

Hundreds?
Thousands?

But today, as they have for so many years, those digits unlocked a treasure: the sound of my friend’s voice.

When we first met in 5th grade, Connie and I weren’t big fans of each other. In fact, I am likely the reason that she never got to go outside during recess for an entire year. But over the course of a school year, we became friends to the point that we really just had one name: Connieandnikol.

Our friendship carried on, miraculously, through middle school and high school, and we were roommates in college for all five-ish years.

As path’s often do, our’s split when we left college, but the thread of Connie’s friendship is woven deeply into the fabric of my heart.

We talk sporadically these days, but when we do talk there is…

no pretense;
no facade;
no mask.

Just love and acceptance that seem to grow with each passing year.

I’ve often thought about the extraordinary gift of her friendship and wondered how it has weathered the years, and there is one word that resounds with me: grace.

You see, Connie and I are very different, and have been our entire lives. Yet, even though we don’t always agree or have the same things in common, we have consistently extended grace to each other.

Grace to grow without obligation;
grace to be without expectation;
and grace to fall without condemnation.

Grace is an extension of love that we have for others; and the grace we extend is dim in comparison to the grace that God extends to us. His grace is magnificent and mind-boggling and truly amazing.

Is there someone in your life that needs grace?

Perhaps you think they are unlovely;
or you have deemed them unworthy;
or maybe their offense unforgivable.

But if He – the One who is perfect, the One who is righteous, and the only One who is just in His judgments chose to give us grace, who are we to deny it to another?

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” – Colossians 3:13

I walked outside this morning to a pleasant surprise: a nip in the air. After one crazy, humid, hot summer in the south, I have to admit that I got a little excited.

I love the change of seasons. It forces me to look at the world a bit differently. In the summer, I never notice individual leaves. But in the fall, when one turns a brilliant shade of orange or a vibrant violet, it catches my attention if only for a moment.

How similar are our seasons in life. Some seasons are meant for us to blend: each day a monotony of tasks and – like blades of grass – seemingly identical from the rest.

Then, suddenly our summer fades into fall. Our lives begin to shift and we become vibrant and beautiful with a brilliant purpose: to stand out from the rest.

Days are filled with a vigor unlike the season before. Each one bringing with it a cool breeze refreshing us from the stagnancy and oppressiveness that so often accompanies the end of summer. We feel alive and rejuvenated. There is a spring in our step (pardon the pun), and our souls seem to dance.

I’m wondering what season you are in.

Are you feeling oppressed by the monotony of your summer? Then, step outside for a moment and inhale deeply the crisp, fresh, fall air. See how the leaves swing and sway? Perhaps that is evidence of the season to come.

Or perhaps you are already in a season of fall, and winter is heading your way. As you brace yourself for the chill, enjoy the season of rest and, remember: spring always comes.

Enjoy whatever season you are in knowing that the days of each one are numbered by God himself and each serves His purpose. Let the wisdom of King Solomon settle into your soul.

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

We haven’t talked much about Peru, but I will say that on every level possible, it was challenging.  God stretched me so much on that trip that my spiritual muscles ached.

Of course, when we arrived in Arequipa, everything there was exciting and new.  It was different, and for those of us who had never been there before, we practically inhaled all the sites and sounds.

But after a few days, I started to miss home.  I missed things that I take for granted every single day like water pressure and flushing toilet paper and brushing my teeth with tap water.  I longed to be able to participate in a conversation where an interpreter wasn’t necessary.  I looked forward to the comforts of home – where I could relax and rest and simply “be”.  My heart literally ached to be home.

If we are “foreigners” and “strangers” in this world, shouldn’t our hearts ache for our heavenly home the way it aches for our earthly one?

Shouldn’t we long to see the place Jesus has prepared for us like we long to walk through the door of our houses?

Shouldn’t we be excited to go where we are loved and surrounded by His beauty the way we get excited to see the beauty our homeland and the faces of our loved ones?

Shouldn’t we be eager for the day when we can have a conversation with The Almighty without an interpreter?

Shouldn’t we yearn for the place where our souls will be able to rest…to relax…and to simply “be” all that God created us to be?

These questions both comfort and sadden me.  They comfort me because our heavenly home will feel 900 million times more awesome than these shoddy, earthly ones…But they sadden me because I realized that I am too comfortable here.  I don’t feel like a stranger and a foreigner in this land nearly as much as I should.  I’m not home sick…and I should be.

Secrets. We all have them. Those little things that we keep to ourselves. Things that we don’t want others to know.

Bad things.
Embarrassing things.
Things that you hope your mom never finds out.

But “bad” doesn’t have a monopoly on secrets. They can be good too:

Surprise parties.
Ingredients that make those chocolate chip cookies taste oh-so-good.
Private moments stolen with loved ones that we cherish forever in our hearts.

Even God has secrets. Deuteronomy 29:29 tells us, “The Lord our God has secrets known to no one…”

I sat down the other day in my usual chair at dark-thirty in the morning to have some coffee with Christ. I felt a tug on my heart to be completely still in His Presence.

As I sat there, my imagination got the best of me, and I started to imagine Jesus reclining on the couch across from me. In Jesus’ day, they did a lot of reclining around tables and such, so I convinced myself it wasn’t such a stretch to think of him lying on my couch.

I could clearly see Him in my mind’s eye – his head propped up on the pillow with his sandal-less feet dangling off one end (Jesus does not put his shoes on the couch. I’m sure of it).

As He wistfully stared up at the ceiling, I heard him say, “I want to tell you my secrets.” I chuckled at the thought and said aloud, “OK. That sounds great. Tell me your secrets.” After which, I immediately snapped out of my daze and plunged into my reading for the day.

A few moments later, I was casually cruising through the first few chapters of Daniel – minding my own business and reminiscing about a study I did on the book a while back – until I read these words: “But there is a God in heaven who reveals secrets…” (Daniel 2:28)

Wait!
WHAT?!
What just happened?!
Did I just hallucinate scripture?
I’m quite sure I just made that up!

But then, a few sentences later, “…He who reveals secrets has shown you…” (Daniel 2:29)

Seven times the word “secret” appears in Daniel 2.
Seven.
Times.

I don’t know about you, but I want to know God’s secrets.

Yes, Lord, you have my attention.  Tell me your secrets.

“And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness— secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.” (Isaiah 45:3)

I misplaced my grace yesterday.  I do my best to keep up with it most days, but every once in a while, I’ll set it down and forget it.  Of course, once I realized my grace was missing, I looked for it:  under cushions of comfort, wads of weariness, and files of frustration.  And don’t you know, it was in the last place I looked?  Under my piles of pride.  

After losing something so valuable, I took a survey of my spiritual surroundings and tidied up a bit.  I threw away the trash so that I could keep track of the treasure.

As I put away my cushions of comfort, I discovered compassion.  I found forgiveness under the files of frustration; and rest under the wads of weariness.  Isn’t it just like God to give us more than we deserve when we’re looking for something we shouldn’t have lost in the first place?  Which, by the way, is the very definition of grace.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

The first thing that I did when I got back into the States from my mission trip to Peru was to flush some toilet paper just because I could.  Of course, that was after I practically jumped over the counter and hugged the immigration officer at the airport because he spoke English.

Even though I have been back for a couple of days now, I still have not been able to process deeply the memories made, the challenges overcome or the profound lessons God taught me over those ten days.  So, I thought I’d share some of the humorous, albeit superficial, lessons learned in Peru.

1. Accidentally getting water in your mouth while showering will likely cause you to have a panic attack.  In fact, it’s best if you just hold your breath the entire time you shower.
2. It is not normal for a hair straightener to produce smoke in a foreign country.
3. It’s harder than you think to get all the toothpaste off of a toothbrush using bottled water.
4. “Sin” is a good thing when it is followed by the word “gas.”  (non-carbonated water).
5. Stopping up the toilet is embarrassing in any country.
6. Eating raw fruits and vegetables is underrated in the United States.
7. Toilet paper is a luxury and flushing it is decadent.
8. Moms in Peru whip their babies around like ninjas do swords.
9. Taxi and bus drivers in Peru make NASCAR racers look like sissies.
10. “Pare” signs (stop signs) are decorations on the streets and at a minimum are simply suggestions.
11. Peruvians laugh in the face of safety regulations: they will literally shove 20 people on a 7 passenger van even if that means standing in the open doorway.
12. Pedestrians do NOT have the right of way.  EVER.
13. You will get so accustomed to being greeted with a kiss and a hug that you think everyone who doesn’t is just rude.
14. Peruvians will still try to talk to you even if they know you don’t speak Spanish.
15. Street vendors will remember your name.
16. Alpaca is tast-y!
17. If a Guinea Pig tastes like chicken, then why not just eat chicken and save the family pet?
18. Dirt floors do not prohibit the possession of a TV, DVD player, computer and an internet connection.
19. No one looks good after being stuck in an airport for 12 hours.
20. Everything is better in Cuzco (thanks for the tip, Jason!)
21. Facebook is universal.

So, there you have it:  twenty-one deep thoughts from ten days in Peru.

Gracias!

Have you ever had one of those days where you were weary and worn out?  Where all you wanted to do was crawl into your bed and forget about the world around you even if it was only for a moment?

Have you ever felt a longing or an ache in your heart where prayers seemed inadequate and perhaps even trite?  Where frustration and fear seemed to sap your strength?  Where neither words nor tears would mercifully come?

Allow me to introduce you to someone who knows how you feel.  Elijah was a prophetical powerhouse;  a miracle machine; an agent of the Almighty.  Yet in the pages of 1 Kings 19, we see his humanity and his frailty.  And while I can’t relate to conjuring up fire from heaven, I can certainly relate to him here.

He is running for his life and he is afraid.  So afraid, in fact, that he plops down under a broom tree and cries out to God, “I have had enough, LORD” (1 Kings 19:4)!

Can you hear the desperation in his voice?  the discouragement?  the despair?
Can you hear the resignation?  the weariness?  the fear?

Hopeless and frightened; frail and fatigued, Elijah falls asleep under that broom tree, and is awoken by an angel of the LORD.  The angel has prepared a meal for him – a meal of baked bread and water.

The Hebrew word used for angel is malak, which means “messenger” but when added to the “of the LORD” it becomes something even more remarkable.  Commentaries suggest that this is Jesus, and I believe it to be true.  Throughout the Old Testament, you see this angel of the LORD speaking as if he were God.

So, stay with me here.  Jesus, the Son of God, makes a fleeting appearance in the flesh in Elijah’s weakest and most hopeless moment.

Jesus shows up when his servant has had enough of this wicked and worrisome world.
Jesus starts a fire and bakes some bread.
Jesus gathers some water and places it in a jar
And then, Jesus wakes him up to eat.

He ministers to him practically and physically.
Not once, but twice.

How appropriate for the Fountain of Living Water (John 7:38) and the Bread of Life (John 6:25) to provide such a meal!  How tender and trustworthy is He!  He restore our souls and cares for us in times of our greatest need and hopelessness for He, and He alone, is our hope and salvation.

Confession: I have been avoiding some of my friends. I know that sounds harsh…and wrong…and completely inexcusable…but it is true nonetheless.

You see, once upon a time, I used to do triathlons. While ‘speedy’ was never a word used to describe me in my triathlon years (unless it was preceded by the word ‘not’), I was fairly fit if I do say so myself.

I was skinny and tan.
I was comfortable in spandex, lycra, dry-weave tanks and swimsuits.
I could ride a bike over 50 miles fairly easily, swim well over a mile and not even blink at a 6 mile run.
And I made some pretty awesome friends along the way.

We traveled together,
cried together,
pushed each other,
and cheered each other to the finish line.
We argued,
and we laughed,
we shared our secrets during the hours and hours of bike rides and runs. We overcame fears and failures,
nursed each other back to health after inevitable injuries
and hung out together on the sidelines.

I started to feel God tugging at my well-defined arms back in 2008 but I chalked it up to just being burned out on training. It wasn’t until the summer of 2009 that I finally submitted to Him during a very, very, very, very, very long and excruciating half-marathon in Chicago. It was there, on the beautiful banks of Lake Michigan, that He finally wore me down and got my attention. I knew I had to stop.

So, life as I knew it changed. I had long since hung up my bike and put away my swimsuit, but now, I saw the writing on the wall – it was time to unlace the running shoes and get back to God.

I retired myself from all things exercise. At first, it was hard, but then I started to hear God speak and move in my life in ways I had only heard people talk about. I started to love God more than I ever thought possible. I started to feel His presence in my life. I actually loved to study the Bible and I started seeking His Heart in ways I cannot explain.

And slowly, day by day, my heart became full and apparently…so did my belly.

Along with these awesome spiritual changes, I was faced with some not so glamorous physical changes. I could no longer eat what I wanted and not gain weight, but that didn’t stop me. Now, I am carrying around more pounds than I care to acknowledge, and with that has come the burden of shame.

Shame is something that we don’t like to talk about, because…well…it’s shameful. But it’s an arrow Satan keeps in his quiver ready to fire at me in a moments notice. The target of shame is always our weakness, and he has been using that for the past two years to keep me away from my friends.

I’m ashamed that I can’t run and swim and bike like I used to.
I’m ashamed that I’ve gained more weight that I care to count.
I’m ashamed of what I look like.

So, I’ve been avoiding my triathlon friends. I’ve let Satan shame me into not calling or seeing them. Now that I know what he’s up to, I might just have to pick up a phone and call one of those friends because I refuse to let him win. I refuse. He has no power over me.

And when I call those friends, I’m sure I’ll find out that Satan is, in fact, a liar and that those friends I’ve been avoiding will love me whether my legs are tan or white and reflective. I’m sure they’ll love me skinny or a little fluffy because, well, they are my friends. And that’s what friends do. They love us no matter what.

I’ve heard about Elijah and Elisha. You can’t be a Christian and not know their names. That would be like an American never knowing the names George Washington or Abraham Lincoln. Or it would be like going through the check-out counter at the grocery store and not knowing the names of Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt (or Bragelina for you uber-trendy folks). Anyway…you catch my drift – though somehow that drift has pulled me in the dangerous riptide of American celebrity).

To say that I knew who Elijah and Elisha were before reading 1 and 2 Kings is to say that I knew their names and maybe caught a rumor or two of some miracles they performed through a sermon here or there or maybe a Sunday School lesson…or in this case, through a song.

This song has been on my iPod for a while, but last week, for the first time, it actually caught my attention in a way that sort of made my mouth drop. I had just wrapped up reading the story of Elijah and the widow’s oil, when this song popped up on my playlist. It was kind of spooky in a cool God sort of way.

Here’s Andrew Peterson giving you some background on the song. (Heads up: He uses the term laborious which only solidifies my previous comments that my words always seem inadequate compared to his or at the very least solidify my need to expand my vocabulary).

All You’ll Ever Need

The blood of Jesus,
it is like the widow’s oil:
it’s enough to pay the price to set you free.
It can fill up every jar
and every heart that ever beat.
When it’s all you have it’s all you’ll ever need.

The blood of Jesus,
it is like the leper’s river
running humble with a power you cannot see.
Seven times go under,
let the water wash you clean.
Only go down to the Jordan and believe.
Only go down in the Jordan and believe.

And I need it,
I need it.
The closer that I grow,
the more I come to know
how much I need it.

The blood of Jesus
it is like Elijah’s fire,
falling on the alter of your faith.
All the wisdom of the world
could never conjure up a spark,
but no power of Hell could ever quench this flame.
No power of Hell could ever touch this flame.

And I need it,
I need it.
The closer that I grow,
the more I come to know
how much I need the blood of Jesus.

The blood of Jesus,
it is like the widow’s oil:
when it’s all you have it’s all you’ll ever need.
It is all you’ll ever need.

© 2008 Jakedog Music (adm. by Centricity Music Publishing) / Junkbox Music / St. Jerome Music / ASCAP/ Composers: Andrew Peterson, Andy Gullahorn, Ben Shive