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2018: The Year of Mourning

January 13, 2019 //  by Nikol//  2 Comments

I like to take my time with these “end of the year” recaps. I peruse the year’s journals and social media posts to remember things I’ve more than likely forgotten with this middle-aged brain of mine. And so, here I am, thirteen days into 2019 recapping the previous year.

I’ve got to say, though, I might have outdone myself with that title. What do you think? Doesn’t it make you want to jump in and read all the happiness? But when you get down to it, The Year of Mourning was much better than…

The Year of Despair
The Year of Loss
The Year of Endings
The Year of Ashes
The Year of Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth

You see what I’m saying?

The Year of Mourning seems sad, but it encapsulates well the feelings of yesteryear. 

Despair came, but I was never without hope even on the darkest days. There was loss and ashes all around of things held dear, and weeping, there was a lot of weeping, but with the tears healing began.

Mourning is a hard thing and it continues long after the sting it gone. It is a dance with a beauty all its own. It is a holding close, a moving on, and a letting go. It is an acknowledgment of holding someone near, of loving deeply, and of being deeply loved. It is cherishing the precious, the tender, and the good. It is learning a new way of living and experiencing the void of someone lost.

And while mourning is at the same time sad and beautiful, I pray to the Good Lord whatever book He has already written that is my life, 2018 was the worst chapter and things only go up from here. Amen? Amen.

So, without further delay, here are some of the best and worst things last year had to offer.

Best New Year’s Resolution:
Not making one (second year running)

Scariest Moment:
It is a tie between getting divorce papers on my doorstep and having both my HVAC systems quit the day before I moved with 95° temperatures!

Funniest Moment:
I’m sure I did laugh in 2018, but I don’t remember it. Too dark? Probably. But it’s honest.

Weirdest Month:
August (second year running)

Biggest Obsession:
Renovating & decorating downstairs. I was on a mission to make it cozy and comfortable. 

Don’t you want to come hang out with us?
Christmas-time

Biggest Loss:  
My marriage

Favorite Read:
The Bible. That might seem like a Sunday School answer, but honestly, it was invaluable and brought such comfort and hope.

Favorite TV Show:
The Crown

This is Us

Best Movie: 
A Star is Born

P.S. The soundtrack is phenomenal!

Favorite DIY: 
The backsplash in my kitchen (it was soooo easy!)

And this garage sale find/dining room chair makeover (it was not as easy as I thought).

Biggest Accomplishment:
Not losing my mind (if only I weren’t serious).

Best Concert/Conference:
Andrew Peterson’s Resurrection Letters

This man changed my life and he probably will never know it.
I have to say: I’m not an autograph person, but I had to take something for him to sign or it would have been even more awkward than it already was. But this note made it worth every bit of awkward.

Biggest Surprise:
Moving out to “the country” and loving every minute of it.

Most Memorable Moment: 
Signing divorce papers. I’ve never experienced God’s peace quite like that moment.

AND

Seeing the dogs run free at the beach. Here’s my video.

Biggest Blessing:
My dogs. I’m sure my social media circles are sick and tired of seeing the monsters, but honestly, I never knew what a blessing animals could be during hard times until last year. They will keep you going and smiling.

Favorite Bible Study:
No structured bible study in 2018.  I’m looking forward to 2019.

Favorite Podcasts:  
The Next Right Thing
The Bible Binge
Dirty John
Dr. Death

Best Purchase:
I’d like to say my house, but if I’m honest, a close second is this paint roller.  Glory to God!  When you are painting 1,000 square feet, you cannot buy anything more valuable. 

Best Vacation:
Taking the monsters to the beach with Kels!  Utter joy abounded!  

Favorite New Experience
I was able to take a couple of laps around Barber Motorsports in a Porsche. It was exhilarating. Here’s some video we took in the car.

Biggest Disappointment:
No comment.

Biggest Surprise
Learning is a mass email that my boss of 10-years had taken a new position within the organization.  

And so, that’s it. 2018, you will not be missed.

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Category: Reflections, Struggles

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Geryl Herrington

    January 14, 2019 at 10:16 AM

    Girl- our 2018s were very similar. Yes– 2018 will not be missed. It was filled with pain, grief, longing for “what should have been.” BUT I now clearly see that all the discomfort was necessary to get me where I am today. And for that I am grateful.

    Thank you for boldly stepping out and sharing.

    PS: I love love love The Crown, also.

    Reply
    • Nikol

      January 15, 2019 at 6:11 AM

      Thank you friend. I’ve been meaning to find a time to catch up. I hope 2019 is being kind to you. I’d love to hear your story.

      Reply

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