Nikol – Page 10

The Waiting Room

January 22, 2017 // by Nikol// Leave a Comment

Waiting rooms – I am certain – are made to break you.

They are forced moments where life seems endlessly suspended.

You have no control over what is happening wherever you are, and you have no insight into what awaits on the other side.

Some people are good at waiting…

They spend their time being productive –
or better yet – resting – relishing the time to be quiet and at peace.

But others worry while they wait.
They twist their hands…
Or bounce a knee…

Waiting.

But almost everyone has a point where the waiting becomes restlessness and restlessness turns into anxiety.

More waiting.

God is fond of waiting:

Just ask the Israelites wandering in circles in the desert…
Or Hannah waiting for Samuel…
Or Jacob working for Rachel…
Or Jesus waiting to begin His ministry that would change the world.

How do you wait?

Do you fret?
Do you bounce a knee?
Or wring your hands?
Is your focus on what is on the other side of the waiting?

Are you productive?
Do you use each minute (or day) (or month) (or year) to attend to other matters?
Do you spend it in reflection?
Do you spend it preparation?

Or better yet…
Do you spend it resting?
Do you spend it praying?
Do you know deep in your soul that God – as Bethany Dillion croons so eloquently:

“…can do more in [your] waiting…

than in [your] doing [you] could do.”

Rest in the waiting.

Take a deep breath and relax into it.

That is the goal.
That is the pinnacle.
That is wisdom.
That is beauty.
That is trust.

Yes, waiting rooms are made to break you:

They are made to break you of your will..

They are made to break you of your way…

to bring you to His.

In the Quiet

January 15, 2017 // by Nikol// Leave a Comment

This morning, I arose early; Before the sunrise. The dawn was teasing with a glimmering sliver of silver just behind the mountains.

I thought of going back to bed, but God was silently tugging at me to watch His handiwork.

The steaming cup of coffee warmed my hands as I settled into the recliner. In the silence, He greeted me.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been still.

Yet I know, He is always found in the quiet.

Thoughts drifted in and out of consciousness.

The silhouette of trees close-by highlighted their branches and twigs reaching up and out like worshiping hands.

Even in the trees He whispers how our lives should be led. Each branch of our lives – whether work or play or family or friends – should reach out and up toward Him in praise.

The sky turned magically from midnight blue, to navy, to medium blue, and then the pale blue of daylight.

He is the inventor of hombre.

The Light chased the darkness away gradually growing brighter and brighter as time passed whispering His revelation of Himself through the passing of time.

All the details of the land were dark and featureless making the light, and the colors surrounding it, the center of attention.

A shadow of truth reveals itself in this remarkable occurrence that happens when most people slumber: when we focus on the Light we cannot see the details of the cluttered landscape of our lives.

The outcome?

Peace…
Stillness…
Perspective…
and Rest.

Then, there were the brilliant oranges and reds that preluded the glory that was coming before the sun peaked its head above the land.

Is this too a shadow?

Is it a shadow of the whispers He gives before His Son reveals Himself again?

Truly nature reveals His glory so that no one is without excuse.

Remodeling

January 8, 2017 // by Nikol// Leave a Comment

For some reason, the day after Christmas, my bonus son & hubs decided they were going to renovate the boy’s bathroom.

It kinda looked like this…

In concept, the renovation had been on the list for a while. I mean, basically the whole house has been on the renovation list for a while. And by “a while” I mean since we were married. Ok. So, maybe 10 months isn’t all that long, but this bathroom has been screaming for a renovation since 1992. At least.

I painted the 1980s walnut cabinets an alabaster white and installed new hardware months ago.

But the $400 quote for putting in a granite countertop and sink were out of my “I-feel-OK” price range.

So, we perused the aisles at Home Depot and Lowe’s and priced out some countertops.

Like every good DIY-er, the hubs watched some YouTube videos and confirmed it was do-able.

Soon, we had a solid white cultured marble countertop sitting in our garage waiting for inspiration.

Fast forward to Christmas when G (bonus son) received a bunch of tools. They were apparently burning a hole in his pocket, so the day after Christmas, he and the hubs ripped out the countertop.

During this process, they decided to also rip out the built-in ceramic
bar soap & toothbrush holders.

You know the ones I’m talking about.

(I can neither confirm nor deny this wallpaper exists in my house.)

I mean, those things are useless. After all, very few people use bar soap anymore, but the toothbrush holder is just sad. They are like us middle-aged folks: too fat to fit in their stuff from the 80s.

Anyway…

I knew taking those out was necessary, but for some reason, it surprised me when there were HUGE perfectly square holes in the sheet rock.

But…I decided to trust the process, and let it go.

It was fun to watch a dad and now-18-year-old work on a project together.

It made my heart happy.

For the next several days, they slowly, but surely, put the room back together piece-by-piece.

First, the holes were too big to patch. So, they had to merge the two holes together by creating a gigantic rectangular hole.

[Another shocking moment for me.]

Next, they cut some new sheet rock big enough to fit just inside the hole, and used joint compound to graft it onto the wall.

The joint compound created seams, so they had to sand it, reapply, sand it some more, reapply where there were cracks or dents, and sand it some more.

Over and over and over again they repeated this process until finally you couldn’t tell the new sheet rock from the old except one had paint and the other did not.

It was amazing.

Somewhere in between mudding and sanding, they popped the countertop into place and the whole room seemed brighter.

Add to it the new faucet, and I was starting to get giddy at the changes.

Once they completed their final sanding, we painted the walls Requisite Gray by Sherwin Williams.

Then, we hung the mirror, filled the cabinets, and gave it one last cleaning.

At last, it was complete.

It was a team effort, but G did most of the work.

And the hubs, well, he was a very proud father.

During the renovations, I couldn’t help but think of how God renovates us…

day-after-day,
month-after-month,
season-after-season,
year-after-year.

It is a dirty and messy job but…

He takes the ugly parts of us and makes them better.

He takes the old scars and creates something new.

He removes the seams of our old life and grafts us into a new life in His Kingdom.

He sands out the rough spots over and over and over again until they are smooth.

He supervises the renovations done by His Son and the Church stepping in when needed.

And what a proud Father He is when He sees the finished product.

So, proud, in fact, He bring us Home.

Praise Him for taking such care and effort into every work He does as He perfects us and makes us new.

2016: The Year of Chaos & Frustration

January 1, 2017 // by Nikol// 6 Comments

2016 was a tough one. Full of…

frustrations…
chaos…
change…
and adult conversations.

In general, adult-ing.

The first year of marriage is tough.

Real tough.

Putting 2 forty-something souls together with all their literal and emotional baggage is messy.

Real messy.

Simultaneously learning how to be a wife and a ~~stepmom~~ bonus mom to teenagers is challenging.

Real challenging.

Letting go of things that were “mine” to have things that are “ours” at forty-two is hard.

Real hard.

So, I am bidding a very happy goodbye to the tough, messy, challenging, and hard year that was 2016, but I don’t want to bid it farewell without recapping some of the best it had to offer – and it did have some pretty phenomenal high points.

I married the best man on the planet…

www.appearphotography.com — photo courtesy Appear Photography

Gained two amazing bonus sons a bonus mom could ever ask for…

AppearPhotography.com — Photo courtesy of Appear Photography

(FYI…I’m not a stepmom, I’m a bonus mom. The boys are not stepsons they are bonus sons.)

Sold my house in a single day…

Gained two cats that I (kinda) love…

Traveled…

Attended 2 weddings…

My brother’s…

And my now-nephew’s.

What can I say? 2016 was apparently the year of “I Dos.”

Went sailing in St. Lucia…

Paid off a credit card that has haunted me since my mid-twenties…

Had a fantastic time with family & friends at two VERY last minute parties…

4th of July

and New Year’s Eve

So, let’s get down to some categories.

Best New Year’s Resolution:
I think every one of my resolutions went out the door or beat my butt. I’m just gonna leave this right here until this time next year.

Scariest Moment:
I dropped by a friend’s house to find she had just severed (that’s right, People, severed) the tip of her little finger. I was calm on the outside, but on the inside not so much. After I took her to the ER, I cleaned up the huge drops of blood left behind by her injury.

Nope.
Nope.
Nope nope nope.
Never want to see that again.

Funniest Moment:
When my hubs very seriously accused me of STEALING his underwear shortly after being married. It’s only funny because moments later, he silently walked in from the car with his military “Go” bag only to have mass quantities of underwear come spilling out.

This is my favorite fight ever. Hands down.

Weirdest Month:
uh…I’m gonna go with all of the them.

Biggest Obsession:
1) Podcasts

My favorites are Serial, Criminal, and Invisibilia.

2) Remodeling our house.

So far we’ve done the kitchen…

and the boys bathroom…

We’re on a roll!

Favorite Read:
Hmmm. Well…let’s go with The Bible because I didn’t do a whole lot of reading in 2016. Maybe in 2017.

Favorite TV Show:
Game of Thrones

“Give me more,” I say!

Favorite Bible Study:
Ruth

After Judges we could only go up.

Best Vacation:
St. Lucia for our Honeymoon.

Favorite New Experience:
Being a wife and bonus mom. Even though it humbles me every day because I don’t know what I’m doing, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Best Decision/Best Purchase:
Wearing red sparkly clogs under my wedding dress.

Biggest Loss:
Singleness.

While I gained something wonderful in return, I had no idea how much I would give up.

Biggest Accomplishment:
Planning and executing our wedding in three months with the Dream Team.

Also…getting teenagers to play a board game.

Best Conference/Concert:
Harry Connick, Jr.

I’ve loved him since my high school days.

Biggest Disappointment:
Impatience.

Dang it.

Biggest Surprise:
I was totally and completely unprepared for the increase in laundry. This could also be in the classification of Biggest Disappointment.

Most Memorable Moment:
Getting married kind of stays with you.

appear-photography-wedding-birmingham-al-356 — Photo courtesy of Appear Photography

Most Embarrassing Moment:
Somethings just shouldn’t be shared.

Biggest Blessing:
Friends who are still hanging in after all the changes.

They are priceless.

Favorite Gift:
I’ve received some pretty fabulous gifts this year, but hands down my favorite was a birthday card the boys gave me. Here are some snippets:

“thank you for everything you do for all of us…”
“thank you for showing me love…”
“you are part of my family now…”

Y’all. I can’t even type that without ugly girl crying.

Give me a minute.

Favorite Family Activity:
1) Watching the boys perform at concerts & competitions

2) Thanksgiving in Georgia with the most fantastic in-laws a girl could hope for.

Most Awkward Moment:
Attending my first Meet the Teacher event. Middle school as an adult is just as awkward as you remember it.

Adios, 2016.

Your work here is done.

Welcome, 2017. We cannot be more excited you are here.

On the Occasion of my 43rd

December 29, 2016 // by Nikol// 1 Comment

Holy God. Thank you for the gift of life.

Some days, I confess, I don’t think it is a gift.
But then I remember, there are people who walked among us who do not have that gift.

Thank you for letting my lungs breath in and out.
Thank you for oxygen that feeds my cells.
Thank you for the miracle of being able to wake up one more day.

Thank you for…
the ability to walk…
and for a somewhat sound mind…

Thank you for…
the ability to talk…
and for the capacity to communicate with those around me.

Thank you for…
the ability to hear the voices of those that I love…
and allowing me to see the beauty you’ve created.

Forty-three years ago, you shoved me into this magnificent madness.
I feel every bit of those 43 years at times.

Yet…

I am grateful for unanswered and answered prayers…
for the beautiful moments and for the painful ones…

I am grateful for the frustrations and challenges…
for the victories and the peaceful times.

I am grateful for times of anxiety…
and for the times of peace.

I am grateful for the beauty you created in this world…
and for the splendor that is to come in the next.

I am grateful for times of loneliness…
and for closeness with family and friends.

I am grateful for the crying…
and for the laughter.

I am grateful for the mundane days…
and for those that keep me on my toes.

I am grateful for friends who betrayed me…
and for those who are still at my side.

I am grateful for heartbreaks and disappointments…
and for times of love and longings fulfilled.

I am grateful for your grace and mercy…
for your salvation and your discipline.

All of my days…the good and the bad…where crafted by you before the world began.

All

days

You knew me.
You know me.

You know the number of my days
and the hairs on my head.

You knew who I would be
You know who I will become.

You knew the sin I would struggle with.
You know the sin that is to come.

And yet you chose me.

(Re)Thinking Christmas: A Savior

December 25, 2016 // by Nikol// Leave a Comment

Last night, during the Christmas Eve service, our pastor pointed out the word “Savior” from Luke 2:11:

Fear not, for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy which will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

A Savior, who is Christ the LORD.

A Redeemer…who is Christ the LORD.

A Deliverer…who is Christ the LORD.

A Deliverer…

I need delivering from so many things:

my sin,

my self,

my troubles.

The judges in Judges were deliverers. They were not like judges in our world today. They were great warriors who fought battles to rescue God’s people from the consequence of their sin: captivity.

Oh, Lord, how I am like them:

doing what is right in my own eyes;
being held captive by my sin;

And as I sit here on Christmas morning, I am reminded of my need for a Deliverer.

And there He lays:

a little baby…

in a manger.

The angel’s good news to the shepherds is as needed today as it was over 2,000 years ago:

Behold I bring you tidings of great joy which shall be for all the people. For unto you, is born this day, in the city of David, a [Deliverer] who is Christ the LORD.

And now I better understand, “tidings of great joy.”

Joy to the World the LORD is come.
Let earth receive her King.