Struggle Bus

I started leading the women’s bible study at my church on 1 Samuel about three weeks ago. I didn’t know at the time what was going on, but I was on the Struggle Bus.

I struggled with the material.
I struggled with motivation.
I even struggled with the Scripture.

Attendance was a lot lower than usual, which I was perfectly fine with since I was struggling.

The bottom line: Everything around the study felt forced, like we were tilling hard soil.

Do you know what I mean?

I even had to cancel one night (which I have never done in 2 years of teaching) because I was ill.

Frustration abounded.

This past week, I walking into the room with low expectations. I’d thrown a lesson together out of necessity and felt guilty about it.

I sat on the couch waiting to see who would join us. Before I knew what was happening 3 people showed up who were unable to attend the first three weeks of class.

It became VERY clear to me: the last 3 weeks were hard because we were not on God’s calendar, we were on ours.

So, I made the executive decision to reboot the class. We completely started over.

I am thankful for the ladies who showed up that day.
I am thankful for the flexibility of the ladies who had been coming.
I am grateful for the reminders that my calendar is NOT God’s calendar.
And I am grateful for the reminder that when I am tilling hard soil and feel like I cannot get any traction, it is happening for a reason.